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Living with Multiple Myeloma in Hyderabad , India . Random musings .


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Surrendering to the divine and being a Nobody

How can one be a NOBODY?! Sounds impossible, isn’t it?!

Homo sapiens are spread out all over our beautiful blue planet. They have different physical features,  they speak different languages,  eat various kinds of food , follow different religions , have their own cultures, wear clothes depending on the weather conditions in that part of the Earth etc.

I would like to distinguish people on the basis of their belief on a higher entity that controls the universe. 

The first kind believes that they are in control of everything, and whatever they have achieved in life , all the success is wholly attributed to their hard work. They are the ones who can not imagine or even dream that there is some power or divine laws in nature that are governing us all the time. They accept laws of nature like gravitational force, magnetism, 3 laws of motion, etc, as they are scientifically proven.

This group is always focused on the visible and measurable world and always on the lookout to develop new ideas and technologies to improve the lifestyle of humanity. They are continually inventing and trying to discover new stuff .

This group also believes that one has to compete and be better than others, and if they are unable to run the rat race, they get dejected and depressed.

The second kind is the devout, who believes in a superpower, Almighty, God, etc. This group accepts that there is divine intervention in their lives and also agree that the results of their efforts are the blessings of the Almighty. They see divinity in all of Nature, in trees, rocks, and rivers. They are able to perceive the interconnectedness and interdependence of everything in nature. They have experienced the power of the divine in some form.

This group gives a form to the divine entity and show their respect by performing certain rituals to these forms. They also respect those who spread the knowledge of the almighty and accept them as incarnations of the Almighty.

This group is completely convinced that every cell, tissue , or organ in their body is intelligent and performs its activities perfectly without any kind of intervention. They appreciate how the body is made up of the five elements of nature, namely, earth, water, fire, air, and space and how it disintegrates into these elements once the life is gone from the body. This life-force is the invisible power that controls all the body functions. They readily accept that they are a NOBODY.

This group has realised that they have no control over the outcome of their efforts. They do their best in their day to day life and wish and seek blessings of the Almighty for success. They give credit to the successes to the Almighty, and failure is attributed to their past karma (actions) . They believe in reincarnation.

All the above facts enable this group of people to surrender to the almighty. Every word, action, thought, or breath is offered to the divine. They have complete faith in the divine that the divine will take care of their every need. They strongly believe that whatever happens in their life happens for a reason and happens for their good. They wish to merge into the divine after the life force leaves their body.

There was a time when I belonged to the former group, and my learnings and experiences have now made me a NOBODY.

I dedicate every action and thought to the Supreme authority and feel relaxed.

Yes, I have surrendered to the divine. The almighty knows what is good for me, and I will get it at the right time. My responsibility is to do my job sincerely.

Once I surrendered, I had been observing little miracles. Tasks get completed without much effort, I get answers to my doubts in unexpected ways.

Life is different and much better when we surrender, and when we accept that we are a NOBODY.

~ Lokaan samasthaan sukhino bhavanthu !


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An update on my current activities. Repainting of our house. My Spiritual progress. 12 Nov 2024

I my previous post, I wrote all about how I started spending more time with myself and my family.

The last few months have been hectic with painting of our house . Both the exterior and interiors have been repainted, and it has been tough cleaning up the whole place.

We are yet to complete the cleaning and disposal of all the unwanted stuff at home.

After my voluntary retirement in 2021 ,I began spending some time every day in my spiritual quests.

I had been regularly practicing pranayama,  meditation, and reading, watching spiritual discourses on the internet. However, I felt the need to be closer to the divine and experience a personal connection with the divine.

I also had been doing regular puja every day. I followed my own sequence of puja rituals and was not very sure if I was doing it right. The divine Mother heard my thoughts, and I soon came across an online course on ‘Sri Vidya’ .

I had been worshipping Lalitha devi in my own way every day. So, I immediately registered for this course. I had no clue what to expect from the course. All I knew was that this was the wish of the divine Mother.

I completed the two day course and also got deeksha for a few mantras.

I had no clue what a deeksha was all about before I joined this course.

The participants were also given detailed instructions on how to perform Shodashopachara puja for Lalitha devi. Felt very happy and started performing Nitya puja as per the instructions.

I am so glad that I am now on the right path, which is helping me have a personal connection with the divine Mother.

The course helped me perform puja on Ganesh chaturthi, Devi Navratri, and Deepawali in a more systematic manner. Felt very satisfied.

Ganesh  Chaturthi
Devi Navratri
Deepawali

I also have been doing japam of the mantras and also doing parayanam every day.

Will write all about these in my next post.

I continue to post reels on my Instagram and videos on my YouTube channel whenever I feel like sharing some sweet and memorable moments from my journey on this planet.

Do check out my Instagram page at https://www.instagram.com/veni3969

Enjoyyyy.

Bye for now.


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Losing myself and finding myself again

” She lost herself trying to make everyone around her happy. Now she is losing everyone around her while trying to find herself again “

The future needs me ,not my past …

I came across this quote on social media this morning.

I read the quote a couple more times and realised that this is exactly what I am going through now.

Yes, till a year ago, I was a person who genuinely cared to make everyone around me comfortable and happy. Be it friends, colleagues  , extended family, neighbors ,  spouse or children. I agreed with what they said , I agreed to meet friends and colleagues whenever and wherever they felt comfortable, and I adjusted my timings to accommodate them. I wanted to feel included and not feel left out or miss the event.

It took a while for me to realize that I am ignoring myself, ignoring my  feelings and my time while accommodating everyone in my life. My ‘me time’ was not sufficient and I lost my focus as to what I wanted to do.

Yes, friends are also important in our lives. Notice the word ‘also’. They are there for you, but mostly remotely and online. There is nothing much they can do for you, nor can we do much for them when they need our help because of sheer distance or other commitments in life.

Yes, we can share a lot of stuff about our personal lives, bosses, colleagues  , and children …talk about everything under the sun … chat about silly things too and also get some good advice whenever we need.

Yes , our friends are definitely a source of information when you are in need of it. However, these days we can also google for almost everything 🙂

Extended family too have their limitations as they have their own family to deal with. Yes, they are there for us for a few days when we are suck. We can stay for a few days with them in their city and home during vacation.

The only people who will be with you whenever you need them are your parents, your spouse, and your children. Everyone else is taken.

So, spend quality time with your closest family members, and it is absolutely ok to meet others just once in a while or catch up on the phone.

However, since one year, I have been staying away from meeting people . My heart wants to spend more time for myself and my family .

I have been giving different excuses, sometimes genuine and sometimes not so genuine excuses to avoid meeting people or attending events.

Frankly ,I never felt that I missed meeting people or missed an event. I have spent enough time with others all these years. I do have lots of good memories too.

But, I am not sure if I should tell people directly that I wish to be with myself for a while, which could be a few months or years.

I still don’t have an answer for this.

But when I saw this quote ,I did feel a bit relaxed that there are people out there who are feeling exactly the way I am feeling currently and who don’t shy away from expressing their deep feelings. I’m glad I came across this quote .

Meanwhile ,I am having fun posting some reels on insta , uploading a few videos on my youtube channel, attending online courses on gardening, crafts, health and nutrition , making tiny harvests of organic veggies from my tiny garden, going shopping and checking out new restaurants in town etc

I also speak to MM patients and their caregivers about my experiences, and I am happy that people are appreciative of my book.

I’m very grateful and happy with the way life is treating me.

Love you, universe !! 💖


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11 years of my journey with Multiple myeloma, a memoir !

Life would have been monotonous if not for multiple myeloma. It has been a life changing experience that has changed me for the better.

It’s been a fantastic journey during the last 11 years. After my treatment at a corporate hospital , my life was filled with lots of events , experimenting with different Complementary and alternative remedies, meeting angels in human form, my spiritual quests, life lessons i learned , getting to understand the laws of nature , and pursuing my passions.

It is all about the power of hope , faith, and willpower.

It’s all there in my memoir.

Here is the link to my book :

https://amzn.to/3CjOBUl

I had this strong wish to share all that I learned during the last 11 years while managing Multiple Myeloma. My wish manifested, and I hope the contents of the book will help others to lead a better life.

This book is to inspire patients and their caregivers to help each other during the healing process.


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Emotions, Hypothalamus, and Health

Our mind is constantly churning out different thoughts all the while, during waking and sleeping state too. Every thought is invariably accompanied by an emotion.

For the last few months, I have been pondering on the what , how and why of ‘Emotions’.

Emotions like fear, anger, guilt, envy, doubt, and greed are negative emotions, whereas happiness, affection, love, gratitude, confidence, contentment, peace,compassion are some of the positive emotions. Positive emotions are what nature intended us to have.

Here is what I learned from all the research that I had been doing.

The creator has created humans full of love. However, as we grow up ,due to different factors, love gets distorted.

We get carried away by these distorted and unnatural emotions.

Our body consists of 5 sense organs, different internal organs ,bones, muscle ,endocrine glands , arteries, nerves and skin. All the diseases that a human experiences are in these body parts. All modern healing methods concentrate on healing these body parts .

Now ,let’s see where the mind and the thoughts reside. It is usually assumed that thoughts are generated by the brain. This is not so, the mind exists all around the body and the brain is like a receiver, like a radio that tunes into the various frequencies. The brain processes these thoughts and sends instructions to various parts of the body. The brain takes inputs from the 5 sense organs and all the nerves running throughout the body.

Now, let’s see what is inside the brain. The brain consists of neurons, which are the main cells responsible for processing the inputs from the mind and the nervous system.

The brain also houses some of the most important glands like hypothalamus, pituitary, and pineal glands. Of these, the hypothalamus is supposed to be the queen of the glands. These glands produce ‘feel good hormones’ or ‘happy hormones’. Hormones are actually certain types of chemicals. There are other glands in other parts of the body, like thyroid, adrenaline, pancreas, etc, which control various body functions. These glands are called endocrine glands.

We come across many posts on social media and other sources about how exercise, spending time in nature, laughing , meditation, etc, help in reducing stress, thereby increasing the secretion of these happy hormones.

However, not many are aware that our thoughts have an effect on the secretion of these hormones.

Every thought, along with its emotion, is received by the hypothalamus, which checks if the emotion is positive or negative. Hypothalamus produces dopamine, which is a ‘feel good hormone’. Depending on the type of emotion, the hypothalamus instructs the pituitary gland to produce other hormones. The Pituitary gland also controls other endocrine glands. The pineal gland produces serotonin hormone, which helps in controlling our mood and sleep patterns.

Positive thoughts and emotions are followed by the release of positive hormones like serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin. Negative emotions lead to stress due to which a hormone called Cortisol is released by the Adrenalin gland. Cortisol increases blood pressure and sugar levels in the body. High amounts of Cortisol in the body also affects the immune system in the body.

The creator has ensured that all the hormones are in balance as long as one has positive thoughts.

Now that we know how important it is to take care of what we are thinking, let’s observe our thoughts and manage them in such a way that we always have positive thoughts.

For the sake of our health , let’s get rid of anger, frustration, greed, envy, fear , doubts etc and be more grateful, compassionate, forgiving , affectionate and full of joy. We dont want our body to suffer because of our wrong thoughts.

That’s the whole connection between our thoughts/emotions and the Hypothalamus which in turn is crucial to our welbeing.

Let’s accept people , forgive others, forgive ourselves, ask for forgiveness, share whatever is possible, see the good in others , ignore the faults of others , enjoy the little pleasures in life, do not compare with others , bless everyone so as to be at peace and help our Hypothalamus to be happy and healthy so as to secrete more happy hormones 🙂

Continue your exercise regimen, diet, spend time in nature , laugh, and meditate, too.

Think the right way and heal yourself !


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Lord Ganesha and obstacles in our life..what’s the connection

Everyone comes across obstacles in their lives. In spite of many attempts, some of the tasks that we undertake or propose to complete remain unfinished. We face several hurdles, and the activities get post poned.

During such situations, our elders and wise men suggest that we worship Lord Ganesha.

Lord Ganesha is loved by people of all ages. Ganesh Chathurthi festival is celebrated with a lot of festivity. Different and creative forms of Ganesha can be seen during this festival.

There are several ways to interpret the form of Ganesha and the meaning behind them.

Hoeever, I always wondered as to why one worships Lord Ganesha or Lord Vighneshwara for clearing all the obstacles in whatever we undertake. ‘Vighna’ in sanskrit is obstacles, and ‘ishwara’ is Lord. As per Hindu custome ,during pujas, we first worship Lord Ganesha and then worship other God’s.

While trying to understand the concept of Ganesha ,I seriously pondered over the story of how Lord Shiva cuts the head of Ganesha when he refuses to permit him to go inside the house. Parvati devi ,the consort of Lord Shiva ,creates a boy using the dirt from her body and infuses life in him.This boy Ganesha is a conscious being and is blessed with free will too. Maa Parvati tells the boy to guard the main door and not permit anyone inside the house as she is taking a bath.

What i understand from this is that all creation is created by Maa Parvati, also called ‘Shakti’. Shakti is the power that creates all living and non-living things in the universe ,including the planets, the stars, the mountains, rivers,trees, animals ,insects, and humans. The creative principle of the Supreme is worshipped in the female form of Shakti, and the consciousness principle is worshipped in the male form of Lord Shiva.

Humans are the only animals that are blessed with consciousness and free will.

This boy Ganesha did not recognize Lord Shiva, who is the Supreme consciousness because of his ego and doesn’t permit him to go inside the house. The boy thinks that he is the most powerful. This is unacceptable to Lord Shiva and cuts off his head and replaces with the head of an elephant. An elephant has a big head, which symbolically implies being wise or intelligent.

The story is trying to convey that when we do not recognize the power of the Supreme Almighty and assume that we are all powerful, we will be punished. The punishment may also be in the form of all the hurdles that we come across in our day to day life.

When we worship Ganesha, we let go of our ego , become humble, and accept that there is a higher power, which is also present in everyone , in every being and everywhere. This Supreme consciousness knows what is best for us and also helps us in overcoming the obstacles in our lives.

Jai Ganesha !


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In search of Desi/Native cows..drive to the outskirts of Hyderabad

Please skip reading this post if you find this topic gross.

I have been growing plants using organic products for many years. I do not use any chemical fertilizers. Food grown using organic products is tasty, has more nutrients, and is free of poisonous pesticides. Whatever little i grow, I wish to grow organically.

I prepare pesticides at home using garlic,ginger,green chillies, asafoetida, turmeric powder, soap nuts etc. I sprinkle wood ash on pests. I use neem oil too to get rid of pests.

At times, I also buy natural pesticides and fertilizers like jeevamrutham, Ghana jeevamrutham,panchagavya, agniastram, etc. These are made with Desi cow products like urine, manure ,jaggery, Chana powder, etc. However, they are very expensive.

I also prepare compost using kitchen waste and dry/green leaves from the garden itself. This is an excellent fertiliser that takes two to three months to decompose.

Epsom salt and karanji powder also help in fertilizing the soil, and i add these once a month.

LAB, which is Lactic Acid Bacteria, helps in improving the fertility of the soil. I prepare LAB at home using rice water and cow milk.

Goat manure is now available in few stores which i add once in a while. This is expensive.

Desi cow manure is an excellent organic fertilizer but very difficult to find. ‘Desi’ means ‘local’ or ‘native’. I had this strong wish to procure Desi cow manure. Desi cow manure is the best fertiliser as it contains all the microorganisms that help extract minerals from the soil and provide them to the roots of the plants.

Plants, in turn, feed sugar to these microorganisms. They are in a symbiotic relationship. Isn’t this interesting. Only Desi cows have all such microorganisms in their gut.

A few years ago, I saw Desi cows in the outskirts of our city and decided to go in search of them. So, mom and I went with our driver.

As we approached a village ,we saw a cow and a calf in a shed. The cow was brown in colour.I was excited that we found a desi cow. But Srinu ,our driver, told us that it is not a desi cow but a jersey cow. It is easy to get confused between the two unless one knows the differences between a Desi cow and a hybrid cow. I looked at it once again and saw that it did not have a hump. The back was flat. I was disappointed.

We then came across a few cows grazing in the open. We looked around to see if a cowherd or a shed was nearby. We found a farm house with a shed. We drove closer to the farmhouse and met the watchman there and asked if they sold Cow manure. They did not have any dry manure and told us that they had applied all the dry manure in the fields. They had wet manure, which is no good.

We started driving further. We came across several farmhouses, cricket grounds , a few houses here and there.

We then came across big shed with several buffaloes resting. We drove closer and saw a few native cows. We saw the caretaker in deep sleep under a neem tree. We decided to go ahead with buffalo manure. It was lunchtime, and we were hungry. We decided to have lunch and hoped the caretaker would wake up. We packed lunch for the trip. The guy woke up and refused to give us the manure and told us to talk to the owners. We decided to look a little further.

Very soon, we saw lots of Native cows grazing freely. Native cows are always allowed to graze freely in the open. We drove closer and saw one guy lying under a huge tree. We saw a huge shed further up and started driving towards it. We saw another guy guiding the cows. Srinu signaled this guy to come near us. He then told him our requirements. This guy then signaled to the guy under the tree almost 200 meters from where we were.

That guy came, and Srinu discussed everything, including the price. Very soon, three bags were filled with dry manure and loaded in the car dikki. Meanwhile, we asked him a lot of questions about the cows. They looked very different from the native cows that are usually found here. Their horns were huge and thick , and their faces were short. Learned that they are kankrej cows from Gujarat,that they give 3,4,5 or 6 litres of milk per day, that one liter is sold for Rs 100.

Here are a couple of videos from the location.

Finally ,I successfully managed to get hold of Native cow manure.

Hope to revamp my garden with the best natural ferliser and reap good harvests.

Enjoyed the long drive out of the city and got some fresh air too.

I always look forward to such long drives, which energizes me.


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My symptoms before being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma

I was anemic since my teens. I always felt weak, and whenever I met a physician , I was advised to take a course of iron supplements as my Hb levels were always below normal.

My immunity was always very low, and I frequently caught a sore throat infection. Every few months, there was an episode. I was prescribed antibiotics every time.

Over the years ,I started having severe asthma attacks every time I had a sore throat infection. I had to depend on a nebulizer to clear my lungs.

During my early 40s , I began having severe pain in my feet as soon as I woke up. It was getting difficult to walk for a while before I felt comfortable to start preparing for the day.

I was 43 when I slipped down the stairs and suffered L5 compression fracture.

Very soon, I started having chills, and I got admitted to a corporate hospital. I was then diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

I have written a memoir about my diagnosis 11 years ago and how I overcame it and now leading a normal life.

If you are interested in knowing more , get your copy here:

During my journey ,I received help and guidance from several people who are god send. My wish to share my experience with others who might benefit is now fulfilled.

Change your thoughts and help your body to heal.

Take Care !


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Seasons in India , Offering to Dieties and Health

India is blessed with spring , summer, monsoon, and winter for equal duration every year.

Indian festivals, along with their traditional customs and rituals, are entwined with health and eating healthy food, which is prepared with the ingredients available during that season. The food is called ‘prasadam’, which is first offered to the dieties on the day of the festival and then eaten by all. These festivals coincide with the change of season , the phase of the moon , transitioning of the sun from the south to the north or north to the south. During these changes, the human body, too, undergoes some changes and is susceptible to diseases. Eating the right foods helps the body transition the seasons and prevents one from getting sick.

Panakam , Ugadi Pachchadi , Kudumulu, etc. are some of the offerings to Hindu dieties during specific festivals. These are mostly prepared in the Telugu states of India. Every Telugu home prepares these. Similarly, every state or region in India has their own set of offerings that are offered to the dieties during festivals.

Ugadi Pachhadi :

Telugu New Year is celebrated as ‘Ugadi’ and the date coincides with the onset of Summer. The offering to God is prepared using ingredients with six different tastes. This is called ‘Ugadi Pachhadi’. The six flavors are sweet, salty, sour, bitter, pungent, and spicy. The ingredients used are jaggery, salt, tamarind juice, neem flower, raw mango, and pepper powder. All these ingredients are mixed and taken as prasadam after offering to the dieties. The taste is delicious if prepared with the correct proportions. Each of these ingredients has its own health benefits.Raw mango and neem flower are available only during this season, and that makes the prasadam very special.

Panakam :

Panakam is a jaggery drink made as prasadam for the’Sri Rama Navami’ festival, which falls nine days after ‘Ugadi’. This, too, is a very delicious drink prepared with jaggery , water, pepper powder, holy basil leaves , cardamom, and a few drops of lemon juice ( optional). This drink is offered to Lord Rama , Sita , Lakshman, and Hanuman on this day. Again, all the ingredients help the body transition from winter to summer.

Kudumulu :

‘Vinayaka Chavithi’ is celebrated by worshipping ‘Lord Ganesha’ , the remover of Obstacles. ‘Kudumulu’ are prepared on this day and offered to the diety made with clay. ‘Kudumulu’ come in different varieties . Basically prepared with Rice powder and jaggery which are mixed well by adding water. The dough is shapped into balls and steamed. This festivals coincides with the onset of monsoons. Steamed food helps the body in transitioning from summer to the rainy season.

Nuvvula Laddu or Til Ke Laddu :

This is made with sesame seeds and jaggery, which are powdered and mixed well to form round balls. ‘Sankranti’ is a harvest festival that coincides with the Sun transitioning from south to north. This is the winter season in India. Seasame seeds generate heat in the body, and hence, when consumed, it keeps the body warm. Every home prepares these laddus and distributes to their neighbour’s.

Each part of India has its own recipes depending on the ingredients available in their region. These ingredients and the method of preparation have medicinal properties. In this post, I have mentioned just a few such recipes.

It is our responsibility to incorporate these customs into our lives and hand over these traditions and healthy food recipes to the next generations.


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What should we bless and why. Blessing and Healing.

What is a blessing ?

A good thought for the good of others, to wish well for others, to be happy when others are happy , to accept people as they are, and not see any intention in their behaviour is what constitutes a blessing. Unless we forgive and forget what others seem to have done to us we cannot bless. Also, it is very important to love and accept yourself too before you can bless others. Forgive yourself and start fresh.

Why should we bless ?

When we bless ,we are sending a message to the universe that all is well. Only when we feel the abundance does the universe provides us more. Complaining and dissatisfaction leads to further lack in life. This is how the universe works. Visualise all good around you and all good happening to you , and you will be blessed with more.

Your relationships may be bad, your work may be unsatisfactory, you may be suffering with ill health , however continue to bless with your choicest blessings and soon you will attract what you blessed.

Not just blessing by using thoughts , thoughts should be followed by emotions. We have to genuinely feel the positive emotions while blessing. Bless with a lot of love and truly feel the emotions. Mere thoughts will do no good ,but it is a good way to start.

Positive emotions create happy hormones by the glands that help the body heal.

We don’t lose anything by blessing others ,we stand to gain.

What ,who or how should we bless ?

Bless the people who work for you. Bless all those who make your life comfortable, your employees, your driver, your household etc.

Bless your place of work and the facilities,infrastructure. Bless your colleagues. Bless the work you do.

Bless your relationships. Your family, neighbour’s, friends  , relatives.

Bless the electrician, carpenter , plumber, municipal workers ,vegetable vendor, the courier boy who are providing all the comforts.

Bless your sources of income.

Bless your body , all the parts of the body, the different organs that carry out different tasks without our intervention.

Bless all the wise people who guide you and inspire you during your bad times.

Bless the sun, the moon,the planets, the stars.

Bless Mother earth for all the beauty and resources that she provides , like the mountains, the oceans, the forests, the seasons, the flowers ,the fruits..

Bless the food that you eat everyday. Bless all the farmers who grew the food and cooked the food for you.

Bless your place of stay, your home, your heaven.

Bless all the technology which makes our life so much easier like the electronic appliances that we use, the communication equipment, the transport vehicles etc

So, let’s start blessing and experience the shower of blessings from the creator of this universe.

Sarve Janaha Sukhino Bhavanthu !!