” She lost herself trying to make everyone around her happy. Now she is losing everyone around her while trying to find herself again “
I came across this quote on social media this morning.
I read the quote a couple more times and realised that this is exactly what I am going through now.
Yes, till a year ago, I was a person who genuinely cared to make everyone around me comfortable and happy. Be it friends, colleagues , extended family, neighbors , spouse or children. I agreed with what they said , I agreed to meet friends and colleagues whenever and wherever they felt comfortable, and I adjusted my timings to accommodate them. I wanted to feel included and not feel left out or miss the event.
It took a while for me to realize that I am ignoring myself, ignoring my feelings and my time while accommodating everyone in my life. My ‘me time’ was not sufficient and I lost my focus as to what I wanted to do.
Yes, friends are also important in our lives. Notice the word ‘also’. They are there for you, but mostly remotely and online. There is nothing much they can do for you, nor can we do much for them when they need our help because of sheer distance or other commitments in life.
Yes, we can share a lot of stuff about our personal lives, bosses, colleagues , and children …talk about everything under the sun … chat about silly things too and also get some good advice whenever we need.
Yes , our friends are definitely a source of information when you are in need of it. However, these days we can also google for almost everything 🙂
Extended family too have their limitations as they have their own family to deal with. Yes, they are there for us for a few days when we are suck. We can stay for a few days with them in their city and home during vacation.
The only people who will be with you whenever you need them are your parents, your spouse, and your children. Everyone else is taken.
So, spend quality time with your closest family members, and it is absolutely ok to meet others just once in a while or catch up on the phone.
However, since one year, I have been staying away from meeting people . My heart wants to spend more time for myself and my family .
I have been giving different excuses, sometimes genuine and sometimes not so genuine excuses to avoid meeting people or attending events.
Frankly ,I never felt that I missed meeting people or missed an event. I have spent enough time with others all these years. I do have lots of good memories too.
But, I am not sure if I should tell people directly that I wish to be with myself for a while, which could be a few months or years.
I still don’t have an answer for this.
But when I saw this quote ,I did feel a bit relaxed that there are people out there who are feeling exactly the way I am feeling currently and who don’t shy away from expressing their deep feelings. I’m glad I came across this quote .
Meanwhile ,I am having fun posting some reels on insta , uploading a few videos on my youtube channel, attending online courses on gardening, crafts, health and nutrition , making tiny harvests of organic veggies from my tiny garden, going shopping and checking out new restaurants in town etc
I also speak to MM patients and their caregivers about my experiences, and I am happy that people are appreciative of my book.
I’m very grateful and happy with the way life is treating me.
Love you, universe !! 💖